5 Things To Do Before Helping A Parent Move To Aged Care
When a parent moves into aged care, it rarely feels like a planned event. More often, it follows a fall, a health scare, or the slow realisation that the house they've lived in for 30 years has quietly become too much to manage alone. Suddenly, you're making decisions you weren't prepared for. About their belongings, their finances, their home, all while also trying to support someone you love through one of the hardest transitions of their life.
In my time working with families through property transitions, this is one of the most common situations I see. And the families who navigate it best? They're not the ones who had more time. They're the ones who started the right conversations a little earlier, and had a plan for the practical side of things before the emotional weight became overwhelming.
If your parent is approaching the point where aged care is becoming a real possibility, here are five things I'd encourage you to do now, before the decision is made for you.
1. Have the honest conversation before you need to
This one is the hardest, and the most important. Conversations about aged care, the family home, and what happens to belongings can feel deeply confronting, for your parent, and for you. But waiting until there's a health crisis to have them means making decisions under pressure, with far less input from the person who matters most.
Start small. Ask your parent what they'd want if things changed. What matters most to them about where they live? What are they attached to in the house, and why? What do they hope happens to certain belongings?
These conversations, when held early, become a kind of gift. They give everyone clarity, and they give your parent agency over decisions that will deeply affect them.
2. Start sorting the belongings with intention
The family home of someone who has lived there for decades contains layers of a life: furniture, photographs, collections, paperwork, tools, kitchenware. It can feel impossible to know where to start.
This is where the Swedish Death Cleaning (SDC) approach I wrote about recently can be genuinely transformative. Rather than decluttering in a panic before a move, SDC encourages a slower, more intentional process. One that happens while your parent still has the energy and clarity to be involved.
The question isn't "what do we throw away?" It's "what do you love, and who would love it next?"
Some items will go to family members who want them, what I call a living inheritance. These are pieces that carry real meaning, passed on with intention rather than distributed in grief. Other things can be donated, sold, or recycled. What remains is a home that's lighter, a parent who feels heard, and a family spared the burden of sorting through decades of belongings under time pressure.
**If you haven’t read the first post in this series, it’s a good place to start
3. Understand what happens to the family home
For many families, the aged care conversation is also a property conversation, and it's one that people often underestimate.
Whether your parent sells the home, rents it out, or holds it during their time in care can have significant implications for aged care costs, the pension, and the estate. The rules around this are complex and change depending on individual circumstances. This is not financial or legal advice, but it is a strong prompt to get the right advice early.
What I see regularly in my work is families who delay the property decision because it feels too final, and then find themselves with a compressed timeline and fewer options. Understanding what's possible, and what each path means financially before a move happens gives you far more control over the outcome.
4. Get the legal and financial paperwork in order
If your parent hasn't already put these documents in place, now is the time:
Enduring Power of Attorney: Who can make financial and legal decisions if your parent loses capacity.
Enduring Guardianship: Who can make medical and lifestyle decisions.
An up-to-date Will: Reviewed recently and reflecting current wishes.
A completed Aged Care Financial Assessment (ACAT): Required for government-subsidised care.
These documents don't just protect your parent's interests - they protect you. Without them, families can find themselves legally unable to act on a parent's behalf when they need to most.
A solicitor with experience in elder law and an aged care financial adviser can help you work through what's needed.
5. Build the right support team
You don't have to navigate this alone, and you shouldn't have to.
The families I work with who manage this transition the best, are the ones who bring together the right professionals early.:
an aged care adviser either through My Aged Care or an independent specialist provider can assist,
a financial planner with aged care expertise, and a
property specialist who understands the unique dynamics of transitioning a family home.
Each of these pieces connects. The property decision affects the financial position. The financial position affects the aged care options. And all of it is made harder or easier by how prepared the family is from the start.
You don't have to have it all figured out
The transition to aged care is one of the most emotionally complex things a family can go through. There's grief in it, even when everyone agrees it's the right decision. There's guilt, and relief, and a lot of uncertainty about what comes next.
What I've learned from sitting with families through exactly this moment is that practical preparation doesn't take away the emotional difficulty; but it does remove a layer of chaos that makes everything harder. When the paperwork is done, the belongings are sorted, and there's a plan for the home, families have more space to focus on what actually matters: being present with the person they love.
If this resonates with you, I'd love to connect. Find me on LinkedIn
